The last place I ever thought I would find so filled with vicious personal rumors (rumours if you’re a Fleetwood Mac fan) unlike any Gossip Girls episode was a sports-themed message board whose only inhabitants are Vanderbilt fans [if you’re not, you get kicked out in order to maintain a modicum of decorum to the site, not that modicum and decorum are words any Vol fan could spell much less know what they mean and certainly couldn’t pronounce properly.}
Yet here we are, Behind Closed Doors, with me being one who avidly peruses all threads and posts like a fly on shite, that seems to be a daily occurrence. The perusing part, not the fly part; errrr, actually the rumors part is what happens daily, but also the perusing; now that I think of it, probably the fly part as well.
First we read that @Anchordown0714 is a Russian. Then he’s a communist. Then he’s a communist spy. Next he’s a Russian communist double agent spy. But are they rumor or truth?
They are ALL LIES!
In reality, he’s a lauded recent college grad who has a wonderful way with words and is happily gf’ed up and has a new job and is intelligent beyond all get-out and speaks wonderful English and looks great in a bow tie.
Next, another vicious rumor is spread that @WillByrum does not like Phoebe just because he didn’t pet her when she came up to him to rub on his microphone while he was working making a TDR podcast.
JUST ANOTHER LIE!
We now know Will loves Phoebe, Phoebe loves Will, Will gets Phoebe in Trevor’s will, and they often sleep together. He also hangs out with pre-teen Lord of the Flies-like kids and watches them eat peanut shells off the ground, yet he only laughs at and mocks them and doesn’t rush them to the ER. Who among us wouldn’t do the same?
Then, another scurrilous rumor is spread that @Trevor Hulan is a slob. This could be the lowest blow of all, lower than the last time Trevor threw a party for his druggy friends. But nothing could be further from the truth we find out.
JUST ANOTHER LIE!
In reality, Trevor is an erudite data-crunching doctoral student with the gift of gab. Which only goes to prove than in America, anyone can become anything no matter how limited their useful skills are just so long as they are willing to work hard and not complain about anything.
But that’s not all.
Next the rumor is spread that @Bfromang is a pretend lawyer who just chases ambulances because he has nothing else to do because he’s actually homeless and doesn’t have a car. But then we read posts of his about various recent lawsuits and discover he actually knows what he’s talking about and uses lots of big words and lawyerly obfuscating phrases and he even played football!
JUST MORE LIES!
Anyone who can endure years of being smacked in the head with great force and still go on to be a lawyer is clearly a fine fellow with a world class sense of humor (humour if your British.)
TBH, I haven’t heard this many lies since the last presidential debate and my high school 50th reunion.
When, exactly, will people stop lying and spreading rumors about other fine people?
As best as I can tell, that won’t happen until hell freezes over and, according to @ChesterCopperpot1 , there is no hell so, consequently, it will never happen.
And, also according to Chester, Esq. , there is also no God and, therefore, there is no one to whom we can pray about it.
We are, to put it bluntly and succinctly, SOL.
Aesopian Moral of the story: Hares may be faster than tortoises, but people are people and the lies will go on and there will always be some person who believes the lie and passes it on to others who also believe the lie, and a vicious cycle begins to which there is no end.
It’s time to end it all.
Consequently, I will neither start nor will I spread any rumor I previously started or spread. It’s a new day in America.
Yet here we are, Behind Closed Doors, with me being one who avidly peruses all threads and posts like a fly on shite, that seems to be a daily occurrence. The perusing part, not the fly part; errrr, actually the rumors part is what happens daily, but also the perusing; now that I think of it, probably the fly part as well.
First we read that @Anchordown0714 is a Russian. Then he’s a communist. Then he’s a communist spy. Next he’s a Russian communist double agent spy. But are they rumor or truth?
They are ALL LIES!
In reality, he’s a lauded recent college grad who has a wonderful way with words and is happily gf’ed up and has a new job and is intelligent beyond all get-out and speaks wonderful English and looks great in a bow tie.
Next, another vicious rumor is spread that @WillByrum does not like Phoebe just because he didn’t pet her when she came up to him to rub on his microphone while he was working making a TDR podcast.
JUST ANOTHER LIE!
We now know Will loves Phoebe, Phoebe loves Will, Will gets Phoebe in Trevor’s will, and they often sleep together. He also hangs out with pre-teen Lord of the Flies-like kids and watches them eat peanut shells off the ground, yet he only laughs at and mocks them and doesn’t rush them to the ER. Who among us wouldn’t do the same?
Then, another scurrilous rumor is spread that @Trevor Hulan is a slob. This could be the lowest blow of all, lower than the last time Trevor threw a party for his druggy friends. But nothing could be further from the truth we find out.
JUST ANOTHER LIE!
In reality, Trevor is an erudite data-crunching doctoral student with the gift of gab. Which only goes to prove than in America, anyone can become anything no matter how limited their useful skills are just so long as they are willing to work hard and not complain about anything.
But that’s not all.
Next the rumor is spread that @Bfromang is a pretend lawyer who just chases ambulances because he has nothing else to do because he’s actually homeless and doesn’t have a car. But then we read posts of his about various recent lawsuits and discover he actually knows what he’s talking about and uses lots of big words and lawyerly obfuscating phrases and he even played football!
JUST MORE LIES!
Anyone who can endure years of being smacked in the head with great force and still go on to be a lawyer is clearly a fine fellow with a world class sense of humor (humour if your British.)
TBH, I haven’t heard this many lies since the last presidential debate and my high school 50th reunion.
When, exactly, will people stop lying and spreading rumors about other fine people?
As best as I can tell, that won’t happen until hell freezes over and, according to @ChesterCopperpot1 , there is no hell so, consequently, it will never happen.
And, also according to Chester, Esq. , there is also no God and, therefore, there is no one to whom we can pray about it.
We are, to put it bluntly and succinctly, SOL.
Aesopian Moral of the story: Hares may be faster than tortoises, but people are people and the lies will go on and there will always be some person who believes the lie and passes it on to others who also believe the lie, and a vicious cycle begins to which there is no end.
It’s time to end it all.
Consequently, I will neither start nor will I spread any rumor I previously started or spread. It’s a new day in America.
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