Former states belonging to the Confederate States of America (CSA, last seen in 1865) have come under attack from an army of young men who are operating out of a base camp in the western part of Nashville. The exact location is unknown as they are a crafty bunch led by the greatest general of all time, hereafter known at GGOAT.
This marauding army has recently annihilated troops from all over the south — Alabama (multiple times), Mississippi, Oklahoma, Georgia and as far south as Florida. The Battle of Gainesville aftermath was worse than that previously felt at Shiloh where scores of young men perished and their loser general was heard to say, “They whupped our ass big time and showed no mercy on our feeble souls”
This group of young menl, ages 18 to 22, are so lethal that they even defeated a ragtag splinter group of Yankees who recently sprung a surprise assault from the north in Kentucky. Although brave fighters to the end, the Kentucky boys were shocked and awed by late battle losses that killed their desire to ever fight again and they quickly retired to their safe haven in Lexington where they can prepare to fight another day…but that’s not likely, all the fight was taken out of them on the Hawkins Battlefield.
The “Nashville Boys”, as the press has dubbed them, have left carnage in their wake as they’ve moved around.
Recent battlefield reports indicate the Nashville Boys, led once again by the GGOAT, have set their sights on Texas, the westernmost confederate state, for their final, all-decisive battle to once and for all tame the CSA rebels.
Updates will be provided as they occur but indications are a major “Memorial Day” skirmish is planned for sometime this morning at a site not far from the Alamo, but it is expected to occur at approximately noon, Eastern Daylight Savings Time, a concept that will be inaugurated some 60 years in the future. That’s just how farsighted the GGOAT is.
We are being provided the inside scoop at the GGOAT’s headquarters at the Commie Grille, owned by local famous wordsmith Alex Turbegov under the tutelage of one William Bynum, aka King of the Lord of the Flies, located inside the Holiday Inn Cornelius, constructed by railroad mogul and well known robber baron Cornelius Vanderbilt who also founded a nearby university in a city he has never visited simply because he liked the Parthenon located nearby and felt it was grandiose enough to satisfy his enormous ego.
By donating a measly $1 million dollars, he apparently has set off a chain of events that has led to the death and destruction that the Nashville Boys have recently inflicted upon neighboring states with a ferocity unlike other other seen since the original Battle of Lexington. While having no “stars” to speak of, every single Nashville Boy has contributed to the unit’s success by tapping into their own individual unique set of skills. It has truly been the biggest synergistic event of all time in the United States of America, rivaled only by the United States repeatedly repelling the war-mongers from Germany who will be led by, you guessed it, the GGOAT.
Stay turned for upcoming events as the next month will be crucial in the Nashville Boys quest to conquer America, at which point they are expected to rename it as The United States for Vanderbilt.
This marauding army has recently annihilated troops from all over the south — Alabama (multiple times), Mississippi, Oklahoma, Georgia and as far south as Florida. The Battle of Gainesville aftermath was worse than that previously felt at Shiloh where scores of young men perished and their loser general was heard to say, “They whupped our ass big time and showed no mercy on our feeble souls”
This group of young menl, ages 18 to 22, are so lethal that they even defeated a ragtag splinter group of Yankees who recently sprung a surprise assault from the north in Kentucky. Although brave fighters to the end, the Kentucky boys were shocked and awed by late battle losses that killed their desire to ever fight again and they quickly retired to their safe haven in Lexington where they can prepare to fight another day…but that’s not likely, all the fight was taken out of them on the Hawkins Battlefield.
The “Nashville Boys”, as the press has dubbed them, have left carnage in their wake as they’ve moved around.
Recent battlefield reports indicate the Nashville Boys, led once again by the GGOAT, have set their sights on Texas, the westernmost confederate state, for their final, all-decisive battle to once and for all tame the CSA rebels.
Updates will be provided as they occur but indications are a major “Memorial Day” skirmish is planned for sometime this morning at a site not far from the Alamo, but it is expected to occur at approximately noon, Eastern Daylight Savings Time, a concept that will be inaugurated some 60 years in the future. That’s just how farsighted the GGOAT is.
We are being provided the inside scoop at the GGOAT’s headquarters at the Commie Grille, owned by local famous wordsmith Alex Turbegov under the tutelage of one William Bynum, aka King of the Lord of the Flies, located inside the Holiday Inn Cornelius, constructed by railroad mogul and well known robber baron Cornelius Vanderbilt who also founded a nearby university in a city he has never visited simply because he liked the Parthenon located nearby and felt it was grandiose enough to satisfy his enormous ego.
By donating a measly $1 million dollars, he apparently has set off a chain of events that has led to the death and destruction that the Nashville Boys have recently inflicted upon neighboring states with a ferocity unlike other other seen since the original Battle of Lexington. While having no “stars” to speak of, every single Nashville Boy has contributed to the unit’s success by tapping into their own individual unique set of skills. It has truly been the biggest synergistic event of all time in the United States of America, rivaled only by the United States repeatedly repelling the war-mongers from Germany who will be led by, you guessed it, the GGOAT.
Stay turned for upcoming events as the next month will be crucial in the Nashville Boys quest to conquer America, at which point they are expected to rename it as The United States for Vanderbilt.
