An MNPD detective contacted me early this morning wanting to know if I was still alive.
I responded, "Yes, a bit shaken, but alive. Why are you asking?"
He responded, "We received several anonymous tips from a @Friedas_Boss and a @Bfromang saying that several people were killed last night in a podcast "Murders in the Building in Sylvan Park". They refused to say who so we thought you, given your reputation as a Millennial-on-Boomer victim, were likely somehow involved and just called to see if there's any information you can provide."
Being an upright and law-abiding citizen I told them, 'Well, yes, but you can't reveal who I am. Is it a deal?"
They said: "Absolutely. We protect the true identify of all victims no matter the hideous crimes inflicted upon them by the criminal element in Nashville."
I responded: "Well, I suppose there's no one more criminal than these two, so here you go.
As best I recall before being stabbed in the back twice and falling to the floor bleeding profusely, blood which a cat named Phoebe was licking up, I actually think she's an accomplice to attempted murder but will not press charges against her because my cat thinks she is adorable. My cat does not feel the same way about the other two.
I think they had already killed Alex AKA @Anchordown0714 AKA "Kurbegawd" AKA "Kurbedawg" AKA "Putin's Bitch" and, to be perfectly honest, laughed about all of it.
They also effed Blake, who may have been one of your anonymous tipsters. The other anonymous tipster is well known for causing trouble so I don't know if you can believe him or not, but I do. He's a stand up guy."
Detective: "Being a cop I am not familiar with this "effed" term you use. Can you clarify that? How is it a crime?"
Me: "Well, it's like this. It CAN be a crime, but it can also NOT be a crime -- just depends on the circumstances."
Detective: "What were the circumstances surrounding this Blake fellow."
Me: "Hard to tell. They were both really laughing about it so maybe Blake was OK with it. But, maybe not. Maybe he just doesn't know how to say 'no.' I guess you'll just have to investigate that as well the attempted murder of both me and Alex.
I probably should also tell you that Blake is a lawyer so he may not be a someone you can trust unless you pay him $500 an hour."
He: "How do you know Alex is still alive?"
Me: "I saw him post some things on TDR message board this morning; he seems fine. I also saw Putin bombed and killed innocent women and child in Ukraine again yesterday."
Detective: "Can you tell us where this occurred."
Me: "Not really, all I know is they live somewhere in Sylvan Park and they are both 28 years old and one is a doctoral student somewhere and the other is trying to figure out how and where to buy his first home, they both wear Vanderbilt paraphenalia, you'll have to check the spelling on that, and clothing and they talk a lot of shit and seem to be quite proud of it.
I am far away from them, for good reason, so I'm not exactly sure how they pulled this off. But, I do believe the audio of the crimes committed exists for perpetuity on the internet with them freely and boastfully admitting to what they did, as well as reasons why.
To be honest, it won't take you long to gather all the evidence you need to put them away from good and no longer allow them to rape and kill people weekly, some of whom they've never met, never talked to, and never seen."
Detective: "Did you say 'weekly' or 'weakly'?"
Me: "I suppose it could be both, one is kinda scrawny but the other one is fairly large and strong, I'm sure they'll be easy to spot when you issue an APB."
Detective: 'How would it be weekly?"
Me: "Well, I haven't seen them all yet, but I think they've done this 320 previous times. They could very well be serial killers AND rapists. You know, kinda like Ted Bundy and that fat guy in California who killed his mother and ate her, maybe even Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy, but I have no evidence of that....yet."
Detective: "This is a lot to digest, Mr. Junior. But, rest assured, we'll get right on and get these ne'er-do-wells off the streets of Nashville so that it can once again become a safe place to live."
Me: "Good luck with that, when I was little we never locked our doors, me and my other 10 year old blond, cute, and friendly friends rode our bikes all over town and nobody bothered us, except our moms if we didn't come back home by dinner time. Nowadays you can't even walk the streets without being accosted by a homeless vet with 2 wives, 8 children, never seen, and a dog, always seen."
Detective: "We'll get back to you when it's time to testify against them in court. Do you have an attorney?"
Me: "No, never needed one. But I do know where to find some.
Have a good day, I'm off to contribute to the Police Officers Association, they've been calling me night and day for 6 months and I just want them to ****in' go away."
Detective: "Yes, sir, I'll get right on that after I nab those two which I expect to do any day now thanks to your information."
Me: "Thank you. I have always lived by the motto "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Good bye, brave police officer, defender of Nashville."
Now it's time for my afternoon nap while most everybody else toils away at a job they don't like doing boring things they don't enjoy and having to listen to and obey bosses they don't like. Hopefully, you're not one of them. If you are, I suggest you change jobs.
I responded, "Yes, a bit shaken, but alive. Why are you asking?"
He responded, "We received several anonymous tips from a @Friedas_Boss and a @Bfromang saying that several people were killed last night in a podcast "Murders in the Building in Sylvan Park". They refused to say who so we thought you, given your reputation as a Millennial-on-Boomer victim, were likely somehow involved and just called to see if there's any information you can provide."
Being an upright and law-abiding citizen I told them, 'Well, yes, but you can't reveal who I am. Is it a deal?"
They said: "Absolutely. We protect the true identify of all victims no matter the hideous crimes inflicted upon them by the criminal element in Nashville."
I responded: "Well, I suppose there's no one more criminal than these two, so here you go.
As best I recall before being stabbed in the back twice and falling to the floor bleeding profusely, blood which a cat named Phoebe was licking up, I actually think she's an accomplice to attempted murder but will not press charges against her because my cat thinks she is adorable. My cat does not feel the same way about the other two.
I think they had already killed Alex AKA @Anchordown0714 AKA "Kurbegawd" AKA "Kurbedawg" AKA "Putin's Bitch" and, to be perfectly honest, laughed about all of it.
They also effed Blake, who may have been one of your anonymous tipsters. The other anonymous tipster is well known for causing trouble so I don't know if you can believe him or not, but I do. He's a stand up guy."
Detective: "Being a cop I am not familiar with this "effed" term you use. Can you clarify that? How is it a crime?"
Me: "Well, it's like this. It CAN be a crime, but it can also NOT be a crime -- just depends on the circumstances."
Detective: "What were the circumstances surrounding this Blake fellow."
Me: "Hard to tell. They were both really laughing about it so maybe Blake was OK with it. But, maybe not. Maybe he just doesn't know how to say 'no.' I guess you'll just have to investigate that as well the attempted murder of both me and Alex.
I probably should also tell you that Blake is a lawyer so he may not be a someone you can trust unless you pay him $500 an hour."
He: "How do you know Alex is still alive?"
Me: "I saw him post some things on TDR message board this morning; he seems fine. I also saw Putin bombed and killed innocent women and child in Ukraine again yesterday."
Detective: "Can you tell us where this occurred."
Me: "Not really, all I know is they live somewhere in Sylvan Park and they are both 28 years old and one is a doctoral student somewhere and the other is trying to figure out how and where to buy his first home, they both wear Vanderbilt paraphenalia, you'll have to check the spelling on that, and clothing and they talk a lot of shit and seem to be quite proud of it.
I am far away from them, for good reason, so I'm not exactly sure how they pulled this off. But, I do believe the audio of the crimes committed exists for perpetuity on the internet with them freely and boastfully admitting to what they did, as well as reasons why.
To be honest, it won't take you long to gather all the evidence you need to put them away from good and no longer allow them to rape and kill people weekly, some of whom they've never met, never talked to, and never seen."
Detective: "Did you say 'weekly' or 'weakly'?"
Me: "I suppose it could be both, one is kinda scrawny but the other one is fairly large and strong, I'm sure they'll be easy to spot when you issue an APB."
Detective: 'How would it be weekly?"
Me: "Well, I haven't seen them all yet, but I think they've done this 320 previous times. They could very well be serial killers AND rapists. You know, kinda like Ted Bundy and that fat guy in California who killed his mother and ate her, maybe even Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy, but I have no evidence of that....yet."
Detective: "This is a lot to digest, Mr. Junior. But, rest assured, we'll get right on and get these ne'er-do-wells off the streets of Nashville so that it can once again become a safe place to live."
Me: "Good luck with that, when I was little we never locked our doors, me and my other 10 year old blond, cute, and friendly friends rode our bikes all over town and nobody bothered us, except our moms if we didn't come back home by dinner time. Nowadays you can't even walk the streets without being accosted by a homeless vet with 2 wives, 8 children, never seen, and a dog, always seen."
Detective: "We'll get back to you when it's time to testify against them in court. Do you have an attorney?"
Me: "No, never needed one. But I do know where to find some.
Have a good day, I'm off to contribute to the Police Officers Association, they've been calling me night and day for 6 months and I just want them to ****in' go away."
Detective: "Yes, sir, I'll get right on that after I nab those two which I expect to do any day now thanks to your information."
Me: "Thank you. I have always lived by the motto "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Good bye, brave police officer, defender of Nashville."
Now it's time for my afternoon nap while most everybody else toils away at a job they don't like doing boring things they don't enjoy and having to listen to and obey bosses they don't like. Hopefully, you're not one of them. If you are, I suggest you change jobs.
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