I woke up this morning to a text from somebody named “TC” with a private number. I don’t know anybody named TC so I was leery at first and thought I might block it.
But then I read the text.
Here’s what it said:
“It’s 3 am, I’ve been up all night trying to figure out my pitching strategy for Hoover.
Who starts? In what order? How should I best use my relievers? In what order should I use them and in tandem with what starters?
I’m seeking your thoughts on the matter. I’m only asking you because some guy I met at the Corner Pub last night, I think his name was Chester, or perhaps Will, maybe it was Trevor, but it might have been Frieda who was throwing back a few with Alex, although Alex seemed a bit too young to be in a bar drinking.
In any event, they all said you were the smartest person they knew of. Of course, they were all drunk so I wasn’t sure if that was true or not. But if it is, please help! ”
It all sounded pretty important despite me not recognizing any of the names he threw out but maybe he was just drunk himself. In any event, seeing as how lots of people drunk text these days, I texted back:
“HI, TC. Good to hear from you again although I have no idea who you are.
With respect to your questions, I don’t know much about baseball but I do happen to know of quite a few people who do. Let me get in touch with them and see what they think.
Again, I know next to nothing about baseball but I do find it fun to watch games both in person and on TV, especially college ball games, mostly on the weekends but once tournament time starts that turns into 24/7.
Let me ask around and I’ll get back to you ASAP.
Once again, who are you? Where did we meet? Please jog my memory as I’m old, senile, feeble, and probably on my death bed only being kept alive by an oxygen tank.”
Therefore, I am asking all the knowledgeable baseball-savvy people out there, what do you think?
My cat, who is quite smart and has a crush on some cat named Phoebe who he saw on my computer screen last week along with these 2 strange guys acting pretty suss, does follow baseball and he, Otis, named for Otis on the Andy Griffith Show because, as a kitten, I caught him lapping up some gin I had in a glass on the coffee table and he fell off the table so I had to hold him in my lap until he came to his senses (he was originally named Sweetie Pie until I finally found out how to tell the difference between boy and girl cats (it ain’t easy) but also because my other cat is named Milo, thinks the starters should be, and I quote:’
“JD on Thursday *meow*, Bowker on Saturday *purr*, and Fennell on Sunday. *MEOW!!!* — I accidentally stepped on his tail but he’s ok — “easy peasy, Mr. Man. Where’s my food?”.
Thinking back to last week in this regard my only thought was, “Will he throw JD on short rest? Should he use Fennell next since both he and Bowker will be on full rest by Saturday? Is it wise to change your starters rotation this late in the season? What implications will this have for next week’s regional play?”
Knowing how Vandy’s coach, whose name I can’t recall at the moment, I need to turn up the oxygen tank because I’m getting faint, is a man of consistency and has a tried-and-true plan that’s worked almost to perfection in the past 20+ years, I came to the conclusion that Otis was right.
But he’s been wrong before, like that time he thought it’d be fun to sneak out the door when it opened and see what was going on outside (a place he’d never been) and then immediately encountered a skunk, a possum, and a raccoon in the back yard and froze in his tracks. Fortunately, his owner was there to save him.
In this case, however, I think I think Otis is right.
But is he? There’s a lot at stake here so we have to get it perfectly right.
Plan the work and then work the plan — the key to success in most any important endeavor. I’ve never actually been successful with anything but I’ve heard that that is true so I’m going with it.
But then I read the text.
Here’s what it said:
“It’s 3 am, I’ve been up all night trying to figure out my pitching strategy for Hoover.
Who starts? In what order? How should I best use my relievers? In what order should I use them and in tandem with what starters?
I’m seeking your thoughts on the matter. I’m only asking you because some guy I met at the Corner Pub last night, I think his name was Chester, or perhaps Will, maybe it was Trevor, but it might have been Frieda who was throwing back a few with Alex, although Alex seemed a bit too young to be in a bar drinking.
In any event, they all said you were the smartest person they knew of. Of course, they were all drunk so I wasn’t sure if that was true or not. But if it is, please help! ”
It all sounded pretty important despite me not recognizing any of the names he threw out but maybe he was just drunk himself. In any event, seeing as how lots of people drunk text these days, I texted back:
“HI, TC. Good to hear from you again although I have no idea who you are.
With respect to your questions, I don’t know much about baseball but I do happen to know of quite a few people who do. Let me get in touch with them and see what they think.
Again, I know next to nothing about baseball but I do find it fun to watch games both in person and on TV, especially college ball games, mostly on the weekends but once tournament time starts that turns into 24/7.
Let me ask around and I’ll get back to you ASAP.
Once again, who are you? Where did we meet? Please jog my memory as I’m old, senile, feeble, and probably on my death bed only being kept alive by an oxygen tank.”
Therefore, I am asking all the knowledgeable baseball-savvy people out there, what do you think?
My cat, who is quite smart and has a crush on some cat named Phoebe who he saw on my computer screen last week along with these 2 strange guys acting pretty suss, does follow baseball and he, Otis, named for Otis on the Andy Griffith Show because, as a kitten, I caught him lapping up some gin I had in a glass on the coffee table and he fell off the table so I had to hold him in my lap until he came to his senses (he was originally named Sweetie Pie until I finally found out how to tell the difference between boy and girl cats (it ain’t easy) but also because my other cat is named Milo, thinks the starters should be, and I quote:’
“JD on Thursday *meow*, Bowker on Saturday *purr*, and Fennell on Sunday. *MEOW!!!* — I accidentally stepped on his tail but he’s ok — “easy peasy, Mr. Man. Where’s my food?”.
Thinking back to last week in this regard my only thought was, “Will he throw JD on short rest? Should he use Fennell next since both he and Bowker will be on full rest by Saturday? Is it wise to change your starters rotation this late in the season? What implications will this have for next week’s regional play?”
Knowing how Vandy’s coach, whose name I can’t recall at the moment, I need to turn up the oxygen tank because I’m getting faint, is a man of consistency and has a tried-and-true plan that’s worked almost to perfection in the past 20+ years, I came to the conclusion that Otis was right.
But he’s been wrong before, like that time he thought it’d be fun to sneak out the door when it opened and see what was going on outside (a place he’d never been) and then immediately encountered a skunk, a possum, and a raccoon in the back yard and froze in his tracks. Fortunately, his owner was there to save him.
In this case, however, I think I think Otis is right.
But is he? There’s a lot at stake here so we have to get it perfectly right.
Plan the work and then work the plan — the key to success in most any important endeavor. I’ve never actually been successful with anything but I’ve heard that that is true so I’m going with it.
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