A little humor for those familiar with the Seinfeld "show about nothing" episode with CSL representing the Vanderbilt "establishment"...
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: So, what have you two come up with?
AD TURNER: Well, we've thought about this in a variety of ways. But the basic idea is a complete…
CSL: (Interrupting) May I?
AD TURNER: Go ahead.
CSL: I think I can sum up our strategic plan for you with one word: NOTHING.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: Nothing?
CSL: (Smiling) Nothing.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: What does that mean?
CSL: The plan is about nothing.
AD TURNER: (To CSL) Well, it's not about nothing.
CSL: (To AD TURNER) No, it's about nothing.
AD TURNER: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.
SEC Staff member: What about the football stadium?
AD TURNER: ..Well, as I was saying, we hired some consultants and sent out some fan surveys to get some feedback, which is all true.
CSL: Yeah, but nothing changes. You see, it's the Vanderbilt Way. You know, you talk about improvements, you send out surveys, you hold press conferences promising rocket ships and then go silent.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: You go silent?
AD TURNER: Well, I don't know about the silence We didn't discuss that.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: All right, tell me, tell me about player facilities. What kind of improvements there?
CSL: Oh, no. No facility improvements.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: No improvements? You won’t get good recruits and you’ll keep losing. So why are fans coming?
CSL: What'd you do during the Alabama/LSU game?
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: I got up and went to the game.
CSL: There's your reason. There’s a game and you show up.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: (Confused) How does that improve the fan experience?
AD TURNER: Well, uh, maybe we sell Chick-fil-a inside at the stadium concessions.
CSL: No, no, no. Nothing changes.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: Well, why am I coming to Vanderbilt for a game?
CSL: Because we’re in the SEC.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: (Threatening) Not for much longer.
CSL: Okay, look, if you want to just keep on doing the same old thing, nine figure stadium renovations, luxury player lounges, then maybe this idea is not for you. I, for one, am not going to compromise my school’s academic integrity. And I'll tell you something else, this is the strategic plan and we're not going to change it. (To AD TURNER) Right?
(A moment passes)
AD TURNER: (To Commissioner Sankey) How about this: I go back to the G-League.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: So, what have you two come up with?
AD TURNER: Well, we've thought about this in a variety of ways. But the basic idea is a complete…
CSL: (Interrupting) May I?
AD TURNER: Go ahead.
CSL: I think I can sum up our strategic plan for you with one word: NOTHING.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: Nothing?
CSL: (Smiling) Nothing.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: What does that mean?
CSL: The plan is about nothing.
AD TURNER: (To CSL) Well, it's not about nothing.
CSL: (To AD TURNER) No, it's about nothing.
AD TURNER: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.
SEC Staff member: What about the football stadium?
AD TURNER: ..Well, as I was saying, we hired some consultants and sent out some fan surveys to get some feedback, which is all true.
CSL: Yeah, but nothing changes. You see, it's the Vanderbilt Way. You know, you talk about improvements, you send out surveys, you hold press conferences promising rocket ships and then go silent.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: You go silent?
AD TURNER: Well, I don't know about the silence We didn't discuss that.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: All right, tell me, tell me about player facilities. What kind of improvements there?
CSL: Oh, no. No facility improvements.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: No improvements? You won’t get good recruits and you’ll keep losing. So why are fans coming?
CSL: What'd you do during the Alabama/LSU game?
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: I got up and went to the game.
CSL: There's your reason. There’s a game and you show up.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: (Confused) How does that improve the fan experience?
AD TURNER: Well, uh, maybe we sell Chick-fil-a inside at the stadium concessions.
CSL: No, no, no. Nothing changes.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: Well, why am I coming to Vanderbilt for a game?
CSL: Because we’re in the SEC.
COMMISSIONER SANKEY: (Threatening) Not for much longer.
CSL: Okay, look, if you want to just keep on doing the same old thing, nine figure stadium renovations, luxury player lounges, then maybe this idea is not for you. I, for one, am not going to compromise my school’s academic integrity. And I'll tell you something else, this is the strategic plan and we're not going to change it. (To AD TURNER) Right?
(A moment passes)
AD TURNER: (To Commissioner Sankey) How about this: I go back to the G-League.
