Western Kentucky was supposed to come to The Hawk for Tuesday's game.
However, people from Kentucky have been told it's not virus-safe to come to Tennessee and the Governor has said "Don't go to Tennessee, it's not safe. Stay here but stay away from Rand Paul."
Baseball related
To solve this dilemma Corbs has been contacting high schools along the TN-KY border. However, he is being more selective this time following the debacle at Trousdale County High School last week in Hartsville. (Mud Bowl II)
He's zeroing in on Bugtussle, Kentucky, which straddles the state line similar to how Junior, while in Bangkok, was straddling ......... well, best we not finish that lest Junior wishes to be banned.
But anyway, Bugtussle (not to be confused with Bugtussle Hollow, TN) is equidistant from BG and Nashville if both teams go way far out of their way to get there -- SE from BG, NE from Nashville. Junior is vectoring it as he manages negotiations between the coaches in the interests of being fair to both teams.
[NOTE: Junior has always liked how Kentucky has their very own intra-state super highways -- Pennyrile Parkway, Bluegrass Parkway, Mammoth Cave Parkway -- 16 in all. All Tennessee has is Briley Parkway and Natchez Trace Parkway, one of which leads to nowhere and the other just takes you in a big never-ending incomplete circle. There may be more Parkways in Tennessee but Junior prefers the two-lane state highways, especially when you get stuck behind a slow-moving beat-up pickup driven by some Hayseed who has no apparent job or place to be in a hurry.]
Baseball Related but only Tangentially
Junior googled 'Bugtussle' to find out more about the place. Did you know their Town Song is Pink Floyd's "We Don't Need No Education"? Junior loves any Pink Floyd song and his final funeral songs will be "Comfortably Numb" and "See You on the Dark Side of the Moon." The Funeral Home's Theme Song is "Money."
While the scenery between here and there is beautiful it's somewhat dangerous territory to cross in the customized VandyBoys buses -- Gallatin, Westmoreland, Lafayette, then Highway 261 through a dense dark forest. One never knows what one might find in a dense dark forest but it didn't start out too well for Hansel and Gretel, although it did end well (for them, not the witch.)
Totally Not Baseball Related
Junior was once lost in the Dense Dark Forest at Pickett State Park in Pickett County (now a part of the Big South Fork Recreation Wilderness)
[NOTE: This is Swinging Bridge Junior crawled across just before getting lost. He is afraid of heights.]
when he was about 12 years old. He wandered for hours, alone, sweating profusely in his nerdish attire considering it was a very hot summer day (long pants, long sleeve shirt with the top button buttoned -- he resembled Martin Short's Ed Grimley for the most part except for the giant cowlick,) until he stumbled back to the Family Reunion Picnic Pavilion after having emerged onto a lonely highway. Once emerged, he had 2 choices -- go left or go right.
A bad choice would likely mean his rotting carcass would later be found on the side of the road, scavenged by buzzards, coyotes, possums or local "Deliverance" type people.
Using his Boy Scout knowledge in order to hopefully make the right choice he mentally geo-positioned himself and decided the right way to go was right.
[NOTE: Junior now believes that in the time he was lost he walked in both Tennessee and Kentucky. But he can't prove it so I guess some might call that Fake News.]
Junior was right. [not something Junior hears very often] When he showed up nobody seemed to have missed him and his Mom asked, "Where have you been? You're late and the burgers are cold now. I have a mind to whip you." To which Junior replied, "Missed you, too, Mom. A bear almost ate me."
To which she replied, "You make up the dumbest stories. Go fetch me a branch, at least 1 inch in diameter" (she knew how much I liked math and I immediately pulled a 6-inch ruler combination Slide Rule out of the Pocket Protector and went in search of a branch for her to beat me with.)
[NOTE: When Junior was in school all we had to calculate on were Slide Rules, calculators had yet to be invented. Unlike nowadays, we HAD TO KNOW OUR TIMES TABLES BY MEMORY!]
Baseball Related
The Hilltoppers must top many hills as they travel to Bugtussle. Worst of all they have to go through Scottsville. Then, once arriving, both teams must deal with the reason why it's called 'Bugtussle.' Historically, they have had a huge problem with mosquitos. [The pond is actually a swamp, truth be told, with who knows how many skeletons lying on the bottom.]
This partially explains why the residents there all appear to have once recovered from having malaria -- it does tend to pock-mark one's face and body to a hideous degree. It's also likely why only 217 people live there. If one can actually call it 'living.'
[NOTE: Junior has noticed that he has all these symptoms from time-to-time. But not all at the same time. So he's thinking he's good to go.]
Not Baseball Related
BTW, did you know Teddy Roosevelt, after leaving office, went to the Amazon to explore and caught malaria? It's true. He survived, of course. Did you also know that when running for president again in 1912 (a few years after his bout of malaria) on the Bull Moose Party ticket someone tried to assassinate him while he was giving a 2 hour speech? Fortunately for Teddy, who had memorized the speech, he had folded the paper it was written out on in longhand, and stuffed it in his inside coat pocket. The bullet fired was considerably slowed down when it hit the folded up speech but it did penetrate Teddy's chest to the point that he was bleeding. Teddy waved it off and kept on talking as Teddy liked to do -- talk, not wave, although he did a lot of both in his long political career.
[NOTE: Teddy, an avid Boxer, gave up boxing after looking in a mirror and thinking, "God I'm ugly. Better give up boxing."
Afterwards he went to the hospital to have the bullet lodged in his chest removed. This is similar to the time the guy tried to assassinate Andy Jackson , but was unsuccessful (likly couldn't shoot any better than Junior who only passed his M16 Test in Boot Camp because the DI took his rifle -- 'weapon', not 'gun' according to the DI who always said "Weapons are for shooting, guns are for fun" -- and finished it off and Junior instantly became a Sharpshooter and has the ribbon to prove it!), and Andy proceeded to beat the guy senseless with his cane.
Andy was a spirited guy and once said, "Congress can pass any dang-fool legislation they want, but I don't have to enforce it." Thus began America's long, tortured slide toward Too Much Presidential Power.
[NOTE: Andy also murdered two men in duels. Maybe we should bring back the duel as a way of settling disputes among politicians. Instead of debates we can have "Meet Me At Sunrise At The Bluffs at Percy Priest, You Scoundrel! We'll Find Out Who's Right!"]
Ah, for the good old days when politics was far less gruesome than it is today.
But I digress. Back to Bugtussle.
Baseball Related
There is no high school in Bugtussle but there is a field down by the pond where the local kids play. Here's a photo of those kids. The one in the middle appears to be related to Junior due to the striking resemblence but Junior has never been to Bugtussle. However, it isn't all that far from Pickett State Park so one never knows about such things, do they?
As a result, Tom Holler, the local Baseball Historian, has agreed to line the field, buy some bases at Academy Sports in nearby Tompkinsville, the "Big City" as locals are wont to call it, and rake the field to remove all beer cans, blunts, whiskey bottles, and condoms left by Bugtussle's kids when they played there last Saturday.
Consequently, it's Bugtussle or Bust! Bus boarding at 8 AM at McGugin!
See y'all Tuesday afternoon. The game must be played earlier than originally scheduled because there are no field lights. In fact, a third of the homes in Bugtussle don't even have running water or electricity. Sure hope nobody has to go to the bathroom during the game, all that's available is one outhouse over at Tommy's ramshackle house near the pond/swamp. This doesn't bother Tommy because there is the pond, after all.
However, people from Kentucky have been told it's not virus-safe to come to Tennessee and the Governor has said "Don't go to Tennessee, it's not safe. Stay here but stay away from Rand Paul."
Baseball related
To solve this dilemma Corbs has been contacting high schools along the TN-KY border. However, he is being more selective this time following the debacle at Trousdale County High School last week in Hartsville. (Mud Bowl II)
He's zeroing in on Bugtussle, Kentucky, which straddles the state line similar to how Junior, while in Bangkok, was straddling ......... well, best we not finish that lest Junior wishes to be banned.
But anyway, Bugtussle (not to be confused with Bugtussle Hollow, TN) is equidistant from BG and Nashville if both teams go way far out of their way to get there -- SE from BG, NE from Nashville. Junior is vectoring it as he manages negotiations between the coaches in the interests of being fair to both teams.
[NOTE: Junior has always liked how Kentucky has their very own intra-state super highways -- Pennyrile Parkway, Bluegrass Parkway, Mammoth Cave Parkway -- 16 in all. All Tennessee has is Briley Parkway and Natchez Trace Parkway, one of which leads to nowhere and the other just takes you in a big never-ending incomplete circle. There may be more Parkways in Tennessee but Junior prefers the two-lane state highways, especially when you get stuck behind a slow-moving beat-up pickup driven by some Hayseed who has no apparent job or place to be in a hurry.]
Baseball Related but only Tangentially
Junior googled 'Bugtussle' to find out more about the place. Did you know their Town Song is Pink Floyd's "We Don't Need No Education"? Junior loves any Pink Floyd song and his final funeral songs will be "Comfortably Numb" and "See You on the Dark Side of the Moon." The Funeral Home's Theme Song is "Money."
While the scenery between here and there is beautiful it's somewhat dangerous territory to cross in the customized VandyBoys buses -- Gallatin, Westmoreland, Lafayette, then Highway 261 through a dense dark forest. One never knows what one might find in a dense dark forest but it didn't start out too well for Hansel and Gretel, although it did end well (for them, not the witch.)
Totally Not Baseball Related
Junior was once lost in the Dense Dark Forest at Pickett State Park in Pickett County (now a part of the Big South Fork Recreation Wilderness)
[NOTE: This is Swinging Bridge Junior crawled across just before getting lost. He is afraid of heights.]
when he was about 12 years old. He wandered for hours, alone, sweating profusely in his nerdish attire considering it was a very hot summer day (long pants, long sleeve shirt with the top button buttoned -- he resembled Martin Short's Ed Grimley for the most part except for the giant cowlick,) until he stumbled back to the Family Reunion Picnic Pavilion after having emerged onto a lonely highway. Once emerged, he had 2 choices -- go left or go right.
A bad choice would likely mean his rotting carcass would later be found on the side of the road, scavenged by buzzards, coyotes, possums or local "Deliverance" type people.
Using his Boy Scout knowledge in order to hopefully make the right choice he mentally geo-positioned himself and decided the right way to go was right.
[NOTE: Junior now believes that in the time he was lost he walked in both Tennessee and Kentucky. But he can't prove it so I guess some might call that Fake News.]
Junior was right. [not something Junior hears very often] When he showed up nobody seemed to have missed him and his Mom asked, "Where have you been? You're late and the burgers are cold now. I have a mind to whip you." To which Junior replied, "Missed you, too, Mom. A bear almost ate me."
To which she replied, "You make up the dumbest stories. Go fetch me a branch, at least 1 inch in diameter" (she knew how much I liked math and I immediately pulled a 6-inch ruler combination Slide Rule out of the Pocket Protector and went in search of a branch for her to beat me with.)
[NOTE: When Junior was in school all we had to calculate on were Slide Rules, calculators had yet to be invented. Unlike nowadays, we HAD TO KNOW OUR TIMES TABLES BY MEMORY!]
Baseball Related
The Hilltoppers must top many hills as they travel to Bugtussle. Worst of all they have to go through Scottsville. Then, once arriving, both teams must deal with the reason why it's called 'Bugtussle.' Historically, they have had a huge problem with mosquitos. [The pond is actually a swamp, truth be told, with who knows how many skeletons lying on the bottom.]
This partially explains why the residents there all appear to have once recovered from having malaria -- it does tend to pock-mark one's face and body to a hideous degree. It's also likely why only 217 people live there. If one can actually call it 'living.'
[NOTE: Junior has noticed that he has all these symptoms from time-to-time. But not all at the same time. So he's thinking he's good to go.]
Not Baseball Related
BTW, did you know Teddy Roosevelt, after leaving office, went to the Amazon to explore and caught malaria? It's true. He survived, of course. Did you also know that when running for president again in 1912 (a few years after his bout of malaria) on the Bull Moose Party ticket someone tried to assassinate him while he was giving a 2 hour speech? Fortunately for Teddy, who had memorized the speech, he had folded the paper it was written out on in longhand, and stuffed it in his inside coat pocket. The bullet fired was considerably slowed down when it hit the folded up speech but it did penetrate Teddy's chest to the point that he was bleeding. Teddy waved it off and kept on talking as Teddy liked to do -- talk, not wave, although he did a lot of both in his long political career.
[NOTE: Teddy, an avid Boxer, gave up boxing after looking in a mirror and thinking, "God I'm ugly. Better give up boxing."
Afterwards he went to the hospital to have the bullet lodged in his chest removed. This is similar to the time the guy tried to assassinate Andy Jackson , but was unsuccessful (likly couldn't shoot any better than Junior who only passed his M16 Test in Boot Camp because the DI took his rifle -- 'weapon', not 'gun' according to the DI who always said "Weapons are for shooting, guns are for fun" -- and finished it off and Junior instantly became a Sharpshooter and has the ribbon to prove it!), and Andy proceeded to beat the guy senseless with his cane.
[NOTE: Andy also murdered two men in duels. Maybe we should bring back the duel as a way of settling disputes among politicians. Instead of debates we can have "Meet Me At Sunrise At The Bluffs at Percy Priest, You Scoundrel! We'll Find Out Who's Right!"]
Ah, for the good old days when politics was far less gruesome than it is today.
But I digress. Back to Bugtussle.
Baseball Related
There is no high school in Bugtussle but there is a field down by the pond where the local kids play. Here's a photo of those kids. The one in the middle appears to be related to Junior due to the striking resemblence but Junior has never been to Bugtussle. However, it isn't all that far from Pickett State Park so one never knows about such things, do they?
Consequently, it's Bugtussle or Bust! Bus boarding at 8 AM at McGugin!
See y'all Tuesday afternoon. The game must be played earlier than originally scheduled because there are no field lights. In fact, a third of the homes in Bugtussle don't even have running water or electricity. Sure hope nobody has to go to the bathroom during the game, all that's available is one outhouse over at Tommy's ramshackle house near the pond/swamp. This doesn't bother Tommy because there is the pond, after all.
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